“Are Boyfriend’s & Girlfriend’s Fair game? Are You Still Considered “Single” Till You Are Married?” Your Thoughts? Here’s Mine..

March 26, 2014 The Brownstone Center 652 comments

Imagine this:

You are in a club, at a party, at a get together or a Greek picnic. You see someone you are VERY attracted to so to walk up to them and strike up a conversation. Conversation is great, they are pleasing to the eye, the flirting is off the chain, they seem to have things going for themselves…At this point you have already made the decision that you want her number or you want to give him your number and ask them out for coffee, lunch or dinner so you can get to know them better but the next words out of their mouth is that they have a “Boyfriend/Girlfriend”. What do you do or say next? What have you done or said in the past? I’m sure each and every one of you have come across this situation. Did you just end the conversation and walk away or did you think to yourself, “He/She ain’t here with you now!” or “They aren’t married so you snooze you lose!”


What does being a boyfriend or girlfriend REALLY mean these days? Do they still say Boyfriend or Girlfriend? If not, what do you call it? Does it mean that you are exclusive or dating and a free agent? Does a non-married relationship have the same kind of binding power that a married relationship have? Should the term “Cheating” only refer to extra-marital affairs because if you aren’t married, who are you “Cheating” on?  Some feel to use the term “Cheating” is a little extreme if you’re not bound to each other by marriage.  If you’re not monogamous then what constitutes cheating? Some fill that until you “Put a Ring on Her Finger” and walk down that aisle that you both are still free agents, single and fair game! Is it always easier to steal a dude’s girlfriend, a Chick’s boyfriend, than it is to keep your own?


If you were to get into a “Relationship” with someone should you want to make it clear that you don’t do open relationships and if they want to be with you, then it’s only with you? Please note and this is VERY important, just because one has had sex with someone does not necessarily mean they are now “a couple”. Perhaps instead of ‘asking’ a guy/girl if they want to be exclusive, you should determine first if YOU do! Maybe state such on your profile.


In my experience, failed relationships are almost never just one person’s fault, but rather the result of breakdowns in or the complete absence of communication. If both people know what they want and can clearly and concisely relay that information to their partner, things will to go much more smoothly.


So my advice?


Step 1: Determine if exclusivity is what you want.

Step 2: Make sure to let dates/potential Boyfriend’s/Girlfriend’s (or whatever you want to call it) know what it is, precisely, you want.

Step 3: If someone cannot, or will not, provide what it is you seek, END IT! Let them know that you are ENDING it, and move on!

If you want a relationship to have sex, you should say so. If you want the relationship to be exclusive you should say so. If you want the sex to be exclusive you should say so.

So Corner & LLB Family…What are YOU Thoughts….Is everyone fair game until they’re married?